Dating in Deutschland: How to Snag a Liebling

by Joey Cervone

Photo by Moudy Elkammash
Berlin Dudes Moudy Elkammash

Just two of the eligible bachelors prowling the streets of Berlin; make one your liebling today!


Berlin may be a city chock-full of sexy, chiseled Germans, but how do you snag your own liebling (sweetie)? It is really quite simple—finding a German man is easy, but keeping one is the difficult part. Although German men may be perceived as arrogant or condescending, beneath the rigid shell, they are sensitive and loving.

Based on my own experience with German men—I’m currently dating one—I have assembled this guide to show you guys and gals where to meet German men, how to handle them, and how to keep them firmly in your grasp.

Step 1: Where to Find Your Guy
The best places to look for German men are in bars, clubs and outdoor festivals. Although Germans are characteristically homebodies, you can still meet your man out on the town.

If you find yourself a bit shy, turn to the Internet. There are Internet dating sites in Germany, including one for gay men called ‘Gay Romeo’ (www.gayromeo.com). This site has “nearly the entire gay population of Berlin on it,” according to my boyfriend, Will.

But for the more able-bodied, social butterflies out there, Berlin’s nightlife rivals New York’s. Put on your best pair of dancing shoes, a dab of blush and hit-up the dance floor. Keep one eye on your drink and the other working the crowd of gorgeous German men.

Step 2: The Initial Approach

German men can come off as startlingly arrogant. They might seem disinterested at first, but just keep calm and relaxed. They may need a 10 minute warm-up before they approach you.

On first impression, a German man may appear dominant and icy. However, once the conversation starts flowing, German men are quite interesting and have a tendency to open up to complete strangers. A surefire conversation starter: American politics.

Eventually their macho demeanor will fade, and before you know it, you will have “cracked open a German.”

Step 3: Understanding your New Toy
One very important characteristic of German people, in general, is there willingness to share. My boyfriend tells me what’s on his mind, whereas I am a bit more reserved. This is an example of the make-or-break aspect of a German relationship: you have to open yourself up to your boy about everything.

They expect the same kind of openness they show you. There are no hidden meanings, no unclear thoughts, and definitely no maybes—the polar opposite of an American’s traditional perspective on relationships.

Step 4: Maintaining Some Sense of Order

German men tend to exhort their dominance over their partners, but maintaining a strong sense-of-self can easily thwart such mentalities.

Cultural differences between Americans and Europeans can sometimes have a negative effect on transatlantic relationships.

The best tip is to let your newfound German lover know that you are your own person, and nothing can change that. If you are overwhelmed by his desire to change and morph you into the “ideal lover,” then he isn’t worth your time anyway.

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5 Comments

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  1. Very cool 🙂
    Like that – interesting to see that from another point of view.

  2. Brilliant, brilliant article.
    Glad you enlightened us!

  3. I think that it is a very interesting and amusing article. Practically all its main points are true.

  4. I’m also dating a German 😛 But I’m from Australia and yeah I guess a lot of this is true, but as long as you show intelligence and respect and are able to engage in conversation it’s true, they get very affectionate quickly 😉

  5. Also an Aussie (recently) engaged to my German 😀 I laughed reading this & showed it to my man, it is very true. However you forgot to mention how that once you get beneath the little arrogant layer they are incredibly affectionate & loyal people 🙂 ❤ my German xx

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